Old World Blues

     Before I start, the Old World is not England. It's Colorado, where I'm from. Old life, old friends, Old World.

     When I left the Old World, I knew it was time to leave. I had all sorts of reasons. I was done with classes and I didn't see any point in putting things off. There was a girl who it hurt to be around. I wanted to know how I did on my own. College and the college lifestyle as an ideal. New horizons. New places. Possibly even new people. (I'm actually very standoffish, but occasionally I find people who I click instantly with. There was hope that there'd be more of that here.)

     I like the New World. I can buy my own ingredients,which is a great blessing when I used to have to deal with whatever the parents brought home. (We never had sour cream or salsa. As far as first-world problems go, that's basically Dante's Inferno, fourth ring.) I can walk to the swimming pool, and now that I'm settled I plan to abuse the privilege. The showers never run out of hot water and that's the greatest thing since cheese on hamburgers.

     There's a few things I miss though. I had great geek friends, and it's difficult to find replacements for people who binge time-travel anime with you. I have to apologize for giving chocolate to someone. There's someone I'd like to convince to come with me, and failing that, who I'd like to spend a lot more time with.

     Some of this is because someone(who will remain unnamed{witness protection[He Who Must Not Be Named]}) convinced me to keep in touch with people from the Old World. Quite honestly, I know most of my friends pretty well, and they'd have been just fine if they didn't hear from me for three months. So that was what I was planning on doing. I was going to cut all ties and head off on my own. New world, new friends, new personality, new everything. I didn't realize this person cared. She did, apparently, and she said she'd whup me if I didn't stay in touch. I believed her. It wasn't difficult. I have full confidence in her ability to beat me to a pulp, especially because chivalry and she's a faster runner than I am.

     I'm still not certain I made the right choice there. There's a desperation that comes from being completely alone, and without it I don't tend to make the effort to meet new people. Now I had a safety net, which is one of the things I wanted to avoid. This is a bit of a trial semester for me, and the ability to crash and burn is something I wanted. Which sounds bad, when you say it that way.

     I also still have to text people. I have some fairly prolific friends, and one who takes it as an offense if you don't text them even if you have nothing to say. I also swore to keep in touch with the girl, and I never felt comfortable talking to her. And then you've got friends talking about gaming and friends who talk about the end of the world being brought on by Raph's chest(Jane the Virgin. It's beautiful. I'm a guy and it's beautiful.) and friends still trying to organize the world's most glacially slow relationship. (They're perfect for each other, they both know it, they both like each other in ALL the ways, and the furthest they've gone is playing Scrabble. Sometimes I just want to lock them in a room, cut the power, and then leave them with chocolate, candles, and Martinelli's apple cider{It's basically champagne, but non-alchoholic} until they learn how to talk to each other.)

     I like texting people. I do. But it takes time, and it reminds me of the Old World, both of which are things that I don't want.I came out here to start afresh, and that just isn't happening.

     So now I have two choices. Ignore many of my old friends and try to focus on what's ahead of me, or choose to maintain the tried and true relationships that I'm comfortable with and continue running into a pathological lack of time.

     I don't know what I'm going to do yet. Maybe I'll compromise and tell everyone not to talk to me during finals. Maybe that'll be enough.